If i come over, it means nothing
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
