im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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