you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
