feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
