Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I understand Curling. That high.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
