Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
