I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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