PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
