question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
