so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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