We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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