im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just forgot I was standing up.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
