My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Every concussion has its silver lining
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
