I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
