so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
