It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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