I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
