Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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