I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
