Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
