Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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