Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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