I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
