why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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