Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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