You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
