ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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