if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
