i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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