either way he was missing a nipple.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
