R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
