Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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