so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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