My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
