90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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