You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
