I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
