So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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