I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
