May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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