You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
