Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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