Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
