he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
