remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
