is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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