If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He has the fingertips of a God
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