i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
