it hurts more in the daytime
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
