i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
