i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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