this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
