If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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