is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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