I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
