Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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