Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
