Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
