so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
